You don’t have to be in a relationship to have sex, and you don’t have to engage in casual sex to keep your sex life alive.
Your sexuality is just that–your sexuality. Only you can define what makes you feel sexy and where you want to be touched, but here are some tips for those that may not have felt as desirable lately.
1. Touch Yourself. Alot
Polish the pearl, pat the bunny, play with the kitty. Masturbate. Try something new everyday–start with caressing your breasts, incorporate lube you’ve never tried before.
It sounds goofy as hell to say, but it’s time black women treated masturbating like the sacred practice it is.
You won’t burn in hell for all eternity if you touch your clit. You might even relieve some period cramps.
2. Dance in the Mirror Naked
You can’t get sexy if you don’t feel sexy. If you’re uncomfortable with your own naked body, how can you be comfortable in front of someone else?
Train yourself to appreciate your curves and creases. Appreciate your mosquito bites. Your feet may be big as hell, but hey, they’re yours.
Get in touch with your sensuality— seduce yourself. It doesn’t matter how stupid you feel, be comfortable laughing at yourself.
No one can shame you for what you aren’t ashamed of.
3. Fit Sex into Your Schedule
We schedule brunch with friends, we even try to schedule our workouts.
Everyone acts as if sex should only be this crazy thing that happens spontaneously, but it unfortunately doesn’t always work out that way.
When you’re too busy to see your friends, how do you work around it? You figure out each other’s schedules and plan accordingly.
Form a practice of masturbating before bed. When you’re feeling especially stressed from work, find time to escape to the bathroom. Hit up that old flame you haven’t seen since freshman year of college.
Sex is just as important to our health as exercise and diet, and should be treated as such.
Sexual desire is not something we should be ashamed of. We owe it ourselves as women to reclaim our sexuality on our own terms.