What Does He Bring to the Table?

shallow photography of silver-colored crown

“Pick-me” Twitter is probably the saddest and most pathetic thing I’ve ever seen on social media. Twitter in general is pretty fucking awful, but the occasional “I’m not like other girls,” tweets kill me slowly in a unique way.

Now, on the surface this looks like a pretty harmless tweet, and to be fair, it is–cringey nonetheless. I feel that women put way too much thought into what they can offer a man to the point where they don’t think twice about what a man can offer them.

One day you’re on Twitter bragging about how you’d spoil your king (who you have yet to meet, and therefore has yet to prove that he’s even deserving of said title) and before you know it, some dusty, wannabe soundcloud rapper is in your DMs with nothing but a hard dick and some bullshit to offer you.

Because you aren’t “superficial” like those other girls, you give him a chance. Y’all Netflix and chill a couple of times, he takes you out on a couple of dates– if you’re lucky, maybe he’ll cover a whopping half of the bill–and then boom, you’re pregnant and he’s on to the next, hottest, dumbest, new thing.

That sounds super dramatic….but that’s pretty much how that happens. I feel like women are so afraid of being honest about what they want from men that they feel that if they subdue their true desires, they won’t be as “difficult.”

Black women especially get fed this bullshit rhetoric of being a “ride or die,” being the chick that was there for him when he didn’t have shit. I’m not sure why we collectively cling so tightly to this tired ass narrative. We’ve seen Baby Boy. Shit, Kanye himself said it:

This week he moppin’ floors, next week it’s the fries
So stick by his side
I know there’s dudes ballin’, and yeah, that’s nice
And they gonna keep callin’ and tryin’, but you stay right, girl
And when you get on, he’ll leave yo’ ass for a white girl

If you’re showing a man from jump that he doesn’t have to do shit to keep you, why would you expect him to magically turn into your prince charming? You think if you pay for enough dates, give him the threesomes he wants, never ask anything of him, that he’ll one day realize how great you are and do right by you?

You already showed him that he’s the prize, so why would he treat you like one?

Cliche warning, but it’s true– we are the prize. If some loser asks what you bring to the table and you already have a bulleted list of what you offer that the other girls don’t you’ve lost.

You are the table. If you define yourself based on what you can offer a man, you’re going to be treated like a doormat. Stop being so desperate for men, and watch how easily they flock to you. Realize your worth before you ever fix your mouth tell a man what you can offer him.

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