A lot of y’all aren’t going to like what I’m going to say in this post, but it needs to be said.
You don’t like your 4c hair because you choose not to. It’s not anyone’s fault; at this point, it’s all you.
Now, of course the black community as a collective has not been the nicest towards black women, especially dark skinned, kinky-haired women. What inspired me to write this post is not only years of frustration with the “woe is me” narrative that I hear from 4c naturals, but from a live video I caught on YouTube.
I won’t disclose this user’s name, but in her live she featured a guest that spewed nothing but ignorant self hating comments in regards to her relationship with her 4c hair.
“I don’t care for my hair texture…I don’t care who feel a way about it…I do not like my 4c hair.”
What’s hilariously ironic is that she also went on to say she doesn’t want anyone to shame her for her hair.
Well honey, you beat us to the punch.
I don’t understand this narrative from some 4c hair naturals that they want to be able to share their disdain for their hair texture and receive nothing but love and support in return. I will never condone black women tearing down their own features, because we get that enough from black men and the media– we should be the very last people to be doing that to ourselves.
Before anyone gets butthurt and defensive, I also have 4c hair, and yes, it is pretty difficult to deal with. My hair is very thick, but my strands are very fine, so its difficult finding a balance between effective moisture for my entire body of hair and making sure my hair isn’t breaking.
It is a lot of work, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world.
If your 4c hair is so damn difficult and you hate it so much, shave your head.
Get a relaxer, a texturizer, I don’t care…
but don’t complain about your hair texture and what it can and can’t do when you’re deliberately not taking the time to learn what it needs.
A lot of us would have hair down our backs if we stopped trying to make our 4c hair look like 3c hair. Your hair is going to do its own thing regardless, but we keep fighting against it and then want to be surprised when it won’t grow past our earlobes.
I’m not trying to police what black women do to their hair, nor am I dismissing the unique set of difficulties that our hair type comes with; however, we aren’t ever going to get over this negative stigma of our hair type if we’re the ones perpetuating it.
You can’t love your hair and then hibernate in a wig 24/7 in the name of “protective styling.” Learn your hair. Work with your hair.
Love your natural 4c hair.