I am a huge advocate for black love. I love to see black couples thriving, and I’m blessed to say that I grew up seeing a good example of black love with my own parents—that does not negate the fact that the black community has an issue with disparaging our own, in particular our women.

I already know I’m gonna ruffle some feathers with this one, but as a black woman, I am truly so sick of seeing people that look like me be the butt of the joke of my male counterpart. I’m sick of being gas lighted by the same men that are supposed to “protect” us.

R&B singer Ari Lennox recently started trending on Twitter because some jackass said that she and Teyanna Taylor look like Rottweilers.  With Twitter being the cesspool of idiocy that it is, it sparked a series of tweets from black men (and unfortunately black women as well) that basically said she shouldn’t be complaining because she’s rich.

Well now isn’t that interesting?

R. Kelly is significantly richer than Ms. Lennox, but the narrative for him from black men is that we need to defend him because society is trying to “tear down another black man.” Despite this black man being proven of sexually traumatizing young black girls, he is simply a victim of being a black man in white America. Right?

Black men have an incredible capacity for empathy for each other, even when they’re royally fucking up, but that same level of empathy is never expressed towards black women. On top of that, black men expect black women to defend them, still.

This made me realize something: the collective of black men aren’t going to get it together. Like I mentioned before, I know for a fact it is not all black men, but there are far too many that are comfortable insulting, disrespecting, and disregarding black women. There aren’t enough black men that call it out, either.

Black women, be an advocate for yourself and yourself only. I’m not saying to go on an anti-black man tirade, because anti-blackness won’t fix anti-blackness.  We need to recognize that our “ride or die” defense of black men isn’t going to ever be reciprocated, so we have to always put our best interest first.

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